Day 14: Someone You Drifted Away From

In 2007, I made some major changes. I didn’t drift away from a person, I drifted away from a lot of people. You know the saying, “This plane is ready for take off and if you’re not on board then you’re getting left.” <-- At least I think that’s the saying LOL. Anyway, I had to leave some people behind. It wasn’t that I was better than them: it was the positivity/negativity thing. I was looking to better my life, be positive, work on my dreams, and grow closer with God. I couldn’t deal with the drama, negativity, and constant chaos. I believe that if you want to be happy and positive, you can. Some people choose to have drama in their life; they wrap themselves in drama everyday. I just couldn’t carry that with me and I still refuse to. I have enough stress of my own with pursuing my goals so why keep people around that don’t benefit me and that I can’t benefit? As positive as I am, I know that there are people that can’t deal with my lifestyle. My advice is going to be different, my conversation is going to be different, even my nightlife is different. Yes I still have fun, hang out, and socialize but needless to say I know for a fact that I am different. I believe in forgiveness, letting love go and if it finds its way back to you then it’s meant to be. I believe in seeking God for advice first and loving yourself to the fullest. Knowing that I’m human and I sometimes have downfalls, it helps to have positive friends that will remind you and keep you on track. One thing that I can say is, my Houston crew is exactly what I’m talking about (No offense Vegas…I do have awesome people here too) If I go to any of them with a personal problem, we pray, we discuss, and we definitely handle the situation in the best way possible. I love that! I love that I can say I have an awesome, intelligent, goal-seeking, positive, and ambitious set of friends.

So, to ALL of the people that I've drifted away from…I hope that you don’t take offense to this and I wish you the best in life. I’m not judging you, I just know that our relationship is better off from afar.

Day 13: I'm Sorry

Dear Everyone!

Wow, where do I begin? I know for sure that it would probably take a year to apologize to all of the people I’ve hurt. First and foremost I would like for everyone to know that hurt people, hurt people. Deep down inside, I was full of pain and that caused me to be oblivious to the anger that I was dishing out to other people. If you’ve paid attention to any of my social media websites, then I’m sure you can see the changes that have overcome me: the way that I talk and most importantly my attitude. My change means a lot to me, because the change you see on the outside is a reflection of the peace and happiness that I have on the inside. I wouldn’t dare name the people or the incidents but if I’ve hurt you physically or verbally, let this serve as my upmost deepest apology. Although, all of my mistakes were before the year of 2007, it still means a lot to me to be able to tell everyone sorry.

My advice to the people I’ve hurt and to anyone that has ever been hurt before—FORGIVE! Forgiveness is the best medicine to any kind of pain. I’m speaking from experience. The biggest situation that I had to overcome and forgive brought me the greatest peace and freedom that I’ve ever experienced. How did I forgive? Through the grace and love of Jesus. I didn’t know that it would be possible to replace anger with forgiveness but I opened my heart and said I want to forgive but I don’t know how and just like that God granted me the gift of forgiveness.

If He did it for me then He can do it for you too...

Day 11: Dear E. Lynn Harris

Dear E. Lynn Harris

My distant and late mentor. Oh how I wish you were still here; here to continue your legacy of awesomeness! I will never forget the first book I read of yours, "Anyway the Wind Blows." I was only in the 11th grade and I'm not quite sure how I first became interested in you as an author but I can honestly say that whatever it was, it was meant to be. I had no clue about the "downlow" world but you opened my eyes wide and clear. As a woman, I truly thank you. Who would have known that you writing fiction literature would actually educate people on real life situations? I experienced your struggle and your pain with every one of your books. At first, I thought you were just a great writer. It wasn’t until I read your memoir "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" that I considered you to be the best. How could a memoir be so engaging and such a page turner!?

I remember the day that you past away. I was so hurt. I planned on meeting you and asking you to write a quote for my book cover. No one and I mean NO ONE could replace the joy I would have experienced to see your quote on my work. I decided to omit the quote all together because you are truly irreplaceable.

E. Lynn Harris, I want you to know that you will always be an inspiration to me. You are a pioneer to the African-American literature world and you will be forever missed.

Day 10: Wishing You Had More time

**Note** I don’t have too many people in my life so the people that I’m close to, I talk to and we always stay current with each other. This post applies to someone who is busy at the moment so I do wish I could talk to this person more at the moment.

Dear You!

Proud of you yes, sad that you’re super busy :( Yes! Your busyness actually had me questioning our friendship. The reason being is, from experience, I make time for the important people in my life and everyone else gets the left over time. No matter what kind of deadlines or assignments I may have, I still manage to talk with my closest friends and fam on a day to day basis. When you started to get busy, our communication started to decrease. We went from talking everyday to talking once or twice a week. I was like hmmm…If he can’t make time for me then he’s probably not the friend I thought he was. You’ve missed out on some key milestones in my life these past few months. I may be a big baby and I may also be blowing this out of proportion but what can I say…Its how I feel and I’m simply expressing myself. Our friendship is like a relationship so you knew what you were getting into when you committed to this friendship LOL. But seriously, I miss our random conversations and our fun times hanging out together. The only thing that keeps me believing in this friendship is the way you make me feel when we do talk. You make me feel super special and at the end of our conversations I can tell how much you care and love me.

Looking forward to the days where you can better manage your time :(

Day 9: I so Want to Meet Tyler Perry

Dear Tyler Perry,

Let’s skip the small talk…I would love to meet and work with you! For the longest, the only thing I knew about you was that at some point you were homeless. I always remind myself that if you can go from homeless to what you are now then surely I can go from a kinda-known writer to a nationally known and respected one. Whenever things get tough, I remind myself of how tough it must have been for you. This past month, I got to know you a little more with your Oprah interview. A Christian recognizes another Christian and when you spoke about forgiveness…I knew that you were someone that I really needed to meet. Forgiveness is hard, I know this from experience but when you have God on your side, all things are possible. To know that you forgave the people that hurt you the most and to know your struggle puts you high on my list of mentors. When I see successful people, I honestly don’t wish I could be like them, I don’t want your success; I want my own, but I do want to know your experiences, because I know they will help me in creating my own experiences and legacy. Because I’m involved in the media, I see a lot of negative criticism about you. In my last review that I wrote about “For Colored Girls” I made mention to this. The critics seem awfully hard on you. I hope you don’t listen to ANY of them. I believe in “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” I’m sure we would be amazed if a camera followed some of these so called “critics”

Tyler Perry I think your work and your path is amazing and when I meet and work with you for the first time, I’m going to make sure you get a chance to read this letter.

Day 8: My Favorite Internt Friend(s)

Hmmm… This one is quite difficult since I don’t have any internet “friends” that aren’t my “regular” friends and I don t have any “regular” friends that I like to talk to on the internet. I do however have favorite websites that I visit and technically they can be considered internet friends.

Sharebuilder.com

I’m trying to grow my moolah and since I’m new to this…this website is great!

MediaBistro.com

I’m a writer…Duh! I love this website because it’s so resourceful.

Essence.com

I’ll be a life time supporter of Essence as long as they remain true to the woman of color. I love reading and writing (hint-hint Essence should hire me) about all things related to women!

Facebook.com

Keeping in touch with my friends, family, and fans is very simple because of FB. I’ve been a Facebook user since 2005…

TheYBF.com

SandraRose.com

I’m not much of a gossip lover but both of these websites have a good mixture of gossip and positive information so I visit them both on a daily basis.

Day 7: Dear Ex

Dear Ex:

Where do I begin? First I want to thank you. Not for being the best man to me "obviously" but because every single thing that I went through with you gave me the wisdom that I have today. You have no idea how much I grew from dating you. I know what true love is now because you showed me what love wasn’t. You were the first and up until this year "only" person I ever loved. I was convinced that you were the last person that I was going to date because I found him...I found my pot of gold (at least that’s what I thought) You opened my eyes to the theme that I used for my novel "A Man Will Only Do What You Allow Him To" I heard that phrase plenty of times but of course, I'm hard headed. For some reason my relationship with you really helped me to see the truth in that phrase. I look at you now and I see you still living the exact same lifestyle. It drives me crazy! and let me tell you why. Despite our lack of happily ever after bliss, I know that you have the possibility to be an awesome partner/husband. You're getting too old to be caring on like you do. I'm sure you've come across some awesome women so I'm confused as to why you haven’t settled down with one of them yet. I would much rather find out that you're married and decided to give up the lavish living than finding out that you’re doing the exact same things. I have sympathy for you because now I think there must be something wrong. I think you are cautious of commitments because you don’t deal with loss too well. Its fine to be hurt from your childhood and your past but you can’t take that into your future. Despite the crazy lifestyle you live, you're a pretty sweet, goofy, and cool person. Why don’t you let that light shine? I want you to know that I have absolutely no hard feelings towards you and wish you the best in life.

The next woman that you meet, if she’s everything that you ever imagined...Wife her crazy boy :)