Day 14: Someone You Drifted Away From

In 2007, I made some major changes. I didn’t drift away from a person, I drifted away from a lot of people. You know the saying, “This plane is ready for take off and if you’re not on board then you’re getting left.” <-- At least I think that’s the saying LOL. Anyway, I had to leave some people behind. It wasn’t that I was better than them: it was the positivity/negativity thing. I was looking to better my life, be positive, work on my dreams, and grow closer with God. I couldn’t deal with the drama, negativity, and constant chaos. I believe that if you want to be happy and positive, you can. Some people choose to have drama in their life; they wrap themselves in drama everyday. I just couldn’t carry that with me and I still refuse to. I have enough stress of my own with pursuing my goals so why keep people around that don’t benefit me and that I can’t benefit? As positive as I am, I know that there are people that can’t deal with my lifestyle. My advice is going to be different, my conversation is going to be different, even my nightlife is different. Yes I still have fun, hang out, and socialize but needless to say I know for a fact that I am different. I believe in forgiveness, letting love go and if it finds its way back to you then it’s meant to be. I believe in seeking God for advice first and loving yourself to the fullest. Knowing that I’m human and I sometimes have downfalls, it helps to have positive friends that will remind you and keep you on track. One thing that I can say is, my Houston crew is exactly what I’m talking about (No offense Vegas…I do have awesome people here too) If I go to any of them with a personal problem, we pray, we discuss, and we definitely handle the situation in the best way possible. I love that! I love that I can say I have an awesome, intelligent, goal-seeking, positive, and ambitious set of friends.

So, to ALL of the people that I've drifted away from…I hope that you don’t take offense to this and I wish you the best in life. I’m not judging you, I just know that our relationship is better off from afar.

Day 13: I'm Sorry

Dear Everyone!

Wow, where do I begin? I know for sure that it would probably take a year to apologize to all of the people I’ve hurt. First and foremost I would like for everyone to know that hurt people, hurt people. Deep down inside, I was full of pain and that caused me to be oblivious to the anger that I was dishing out to other people. If you’ve paid attention to any of my social media websites, then I’m sure you can see the changes that have overcome me: the way that I talk and most importantly my attitude. My change means a lot to me, because the change you see on the outside is a reflection of the peace and happiness that I have on the inside. I wouldn’t dare name the people or the incidents but if I’ve hurt you physically or verbally, let this serve as my upmost deepest apology. Although, all of my mistakes were before the year of 2007, it still means a lot to me to be able to tell everyone sorry.

My advice to the people I’ve hurt and to anyone that has ever been hurt before—FORGIVE! Forgiveness is the best medicine to any kind of pain. I’m speaking from experience. The biggest situation that I had to overcome and forgive brought me the greatest peace and freedom that I’ve ever experienced. How did I forgive? Through the grace and love of Jesus. I didn’t know that it would be possible to replace anger with forgiveness but I opened my heart and said I want to forgive but I don’t know how and just like that God granted me the gift of forgiveness.

If He did it for me then He can do it for you too...

Day 11: Dear E. Lynn Harris

Dear E. Lynn Harris

My distant and late mentor. Oh how I wish you were still here; here to continue your legacy of awesomeness! I will never forget the first book I read of yours, "Anyway the Wind Blows." I was only in the 11th grade and I'm not quite sure how I first became interested in you as an author but I can honestly say that whatever it was, it was meant to be. I had no clue about the "downlow" world but you opened my eyes wide and clear. As a woman, I truly thank you. Who would have known that you writing fiction literature would actually educate people on real life situations? I experienced your struggle and your pain with every one of your books. At first, I thought you were just a great writer. It wasn’t until I read your memoir "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" that I considered you to be the best. How could a memoir be so engaging and such a page turner!?

I remember the day that you past away. I was so hurt. I planned on meeting you and asking you to write a quote for my book cover. No one and I mean NO ONE could replace the joy I would have experienced to see your quote on my work. I decided to omit the quote all together because you are truly irreplaceable.

E. Lynn Harris, I want you to know that you will always be an inspiration to me. You are a pioneer to the African-American literature world and you will be forever missed.

Day 10: Wishing You Had More time

**Note** I don’t have too many people in my life so the people that I’m close to, I talk to and we always stay current with each other. This post applies to someone who is busy at the moment so I do wish I could talk to this person more at the moment.

Dear You!

Proud of you yes, sad that you’re super busy :( Yes! Your busyness actually had me questioning our friendship. The reason being is, from experience, I make time for the important people in my life and everyone else gets the left over time. No matter what kind of deadlines or assignments I may have, I still manage to talk with my closest friends and fam on a day to day basis. When you started to get busy, our communication started to decrease. We went from talking everyday to talking once or twice a week. I was like hmmm…If he can’t make time for me then he’s probably not the friend I thought he was. You’ve missed out on some key milestones in my life these past few months. I may be a big baby and I may also be blowing this out of proportion but what can I say…Its how I feel and I’m simply expressing myself. Our friendship is like a relationship so you knew what you were getting into when you committed to this friendship LOL. But seriously, I miss our random conversations and our fun times hanging out together. The only thing that keeps me believing in this friendship is the way you make me feel when we do talk. You make me feel super special and at the end of our conversations I can tell how much you care and love me.

Looking forward to the days where you can better manage your time :(

Day 9: I so Want to Meet Tyler Perry

Dear Tyler Perry,

Let’s skip the small talk…I would love to meet and work with you! For the longest, the only thing I knew about you was that at some point you were homeless. I always remind myself that if you can go from homeless to what you are now then surely I can go from a kinda-known writer to a nationally known and respected one. Whenever things get tough, I remind myself of how tough it must have been for you. This past month, I got to know you a little more with your Oprah interview. A Christian recognizes another Christian and when you spoke about forgiveness…I knew that you were someone that I really needed to meet. Forgiveness is hard, I know this from experience but when you have God on your side, all things are possible. To know that you forgave the people that hurt you the most and to know your struggle puts you high on my list of mentors. When I see successful people, I honestly don’t wish I could be like them, I don’t want your success; I want my own, but I do want to know your experiences, because I know they will help me in creating my own experiences and legacy. Because I’m involved in the media, I see a lot of negative criticism about you. In my last review that I wrote about “For Colored Girls” I made mention to this. The critics seem awfully hard on you. I hope you don’t listen to ANY of them. I believe in “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” I’m sure we would be amazed if a camera followed some of these so called “critics”

Tyler Perry I think your work and your path is amazing and when I meet and work with you for the first time, I’m going to make sure you get a chance to read this letter.

Day 8: My Favorite Internt Friend(s)

Hmmm… This one is quite difficult since I don’t have any internet “friends” that aren’t my “regular” friends and I don t have any “regular” friends that I like to talk to on the internet. I do however have favorite websites that I visit and technically they can be considered internet friends.

Sharebuilder.com

I’m trying to grow my moolah and since I’m new to this…this website is great!

MediaBistro.com

I’m a writer…Duh! I love this website because it’s so resourceful.

Essence.com

I’ll be a life time supporter of Essence as long as they remain true to the woman of color. I love reading and writing (hint-hint Essence should hire me) about all things related to women!

Facebook.com

Keeping in touch with my friends, family, and fans is very simple because of FB. I’ve been a Facebook user since 2005…

TheYBF.com

SandraRose.com

I’m not much of a gossip lover but both of these websites have a good mixture of gossip and positive information so I visit them both on a daily basis.

Day 7: Dear Ex

Dear Ex:

Where do I begin? First I want to thank you. Not for being the best man to me "obviously" but because every single thing that I went through with you gave me the wisdom that I have today. You have no idea how much I grew from dating you. I know what true love is now because you showed me what love wasn’t. You were the first and up until this year "only" person I ever loved. I was convinced that you were the last person that I was going to date because I found him...I found my pot of gold (at least that’s what I thought) You opened my eyes to the theme that I used for my novel "A Man Will Only Do What You Allow Him To" I heard that phrase plenty of times but of course, I'm hard headed. For some reason my relationship with you really helped me to see the truth in that phrase. I look at you now and I see you still living the exact same lifestyle. It drives me crazy! and let me tell you why. Despite our lack of happily ever after bliss, I know that you have the possibility to be an awesome partner/husband. You're getting too old to be caring on like you do. I'm sure you've come across some awesome women so I'm confused as to why you haven’t settled down with one of them yet. I would much rather find out that you're married and decided to give up the lavish living than finding out that you’re doing the exact same things. I have sympathy for you because now I think there must be something wrong. I think you are cautious of commitments because you don’t deal with loss too well. Its fine to be hurt from your childhood and your past but you can’t take that into your future. Despite the crazy lifestyle you live, you're a pretty sweet, goofy, and cool person. Why don’t you let that light shine? I want you to know that I have absolutely no hard feelings towards you and wish you the best in life.

The next woman that you meet, if she’s everything that you ever imagined...Wife her crazy boy :)

Day 6: A Stranger

So one day my Model (My BFF Meron) and I were at a car dealership getting her a car. The salesman kept talking to us and mentioning God's name. I don’t remember exactly what he was saying but he had to have mentioned God's name like 20 times. We ended up at his desk and our conversation went from getting her a car to giving us a positive message. He looked at both of us and told us we were destined to be friends. He told me that I was sick and that I could relax because everything was going to be okay. In my head I was like (Whatever I don’t believe it. This man is just saying stuff) He then looked back at me and was like, didn’t I tell you that you're fine, why don’t you believe me? Needless to say I was sick and very nervous. I started crying. At that moment I said okay I believe you. He told her that she was in a bad relationship and that she needed to get out of it and she actually was. He told us a lot more things that night, all which have came true. He told me that I was going to be sooo successful and influential. All of this was taking place in the middle of the show room at a desk. I couldn’t tell you what the rest of the customers were doing or if other people were there; our conversation was that intense. He told my Model and I that we needed each other and that we would always be there to help each other. He ended the conversation with telling us to go to our car and pray together which we did for the very first time. She didn’t even get a car that night but we received an awesome message from a pure stranger. I called the dealership a few weeks later and asked for him and no one knew of who he was...

I have a feeling that who we thought was a stranger was someone we knew all along. :)

Day 5: My Dreams

Dear Dreams!

Everyday I make a point to achieve you. Everyday I make an effort to add more to you. I never neglect you and I've never given up on you. But lately...lately you've been acting strange. It feels like our relationship is somehow falling apart. Things have become much harder and confusing. When I think about you I'm so happy. The problem is when I make plans for us. Are you scared of commitments or something? Why do you act all funny when I make plans for our future? You start changing and finding ways to stress me out.

Dreams, will you please get your act together? National Best Selling Author, Owner of a Non-Profit that helps women reach wholeness and peace, TV show host, and writer extraordinaire...Get with the program!

Day 4: The Best Sister in the World

My Big/Little Sister!

So, I don’t know how fun or amazing my life would have been without my sister being in it! When I was younger, I wanted to be just like her, I would even buy the exact same clothes as her. They say the younger sibling will learn faster when they have an older sibling, hmmm.... is that what happened? You've been there to support me in every milestone of my life and you've been there to help me with every obstacle of my life.

Remember when you disowned me for a year because I bought the same shoes as you?Remember when you used to let me drive to Kaia's house when I was 15 years old? (No DL LOL)Remember when you would let me drive from one freeway entrance to the next exit so I could learn how to drive on the freeway?Remember when I would wake you up at 5am and ask you to curl my hair for school?**Note** (Most of the fun memories are "too much" for me to post on here LOL) I.E. Cancun, James, 18 + club, need I say more :)

I want to shout THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart but I also want you to know that I'm looking forward to creating memories of me supporting you and making a difference in your life...

Love You!Metis

Day 3: My Mommy and Daddy

Let me start off by saying that I wouldn’t trade my parents for the world... Well, on some days I would (hehe)

Dear Mommy,At first I thought our relationship was weird, being that we didn’t start getting alone until I was in my 20's but then I meet more and more mothers and daughters who shared the same late blooming relationship. It’s great to know were normal! I do however, hate that we had to start that way and I hate that it's such a common thing. Being that I'm not a person that lives in the past, I'm able to learn from it and enjoy what we have now, which is a fun, loving and very close relationship. I laugh all day at you-literally. You have a ton of personality, even while you're in the hospital bed. Who in the world gets mad at the hospital because they won’t bring them a chicken wrap, 2 days after they just had surgery on their neck...only you! Most people don’t know, but I moved home to help take care of you after your 2nd surgery because you mean that much to me. I'm looking forward to more laughs and creating tons of memories that I can forever share with my children.

Love Ya,Miss Piggy

Daddy!

My very close relationship with you is no secret to you or the world :) Everyone knows that I'm a daddy's girl. I would however like to explain why I'm such a daddy's girl. You are the ultimate role model; the definition of a man. You were in the military while I was growing up yet you never missed any of my birthdays. I knew without a doubt that on May 4th, I would see my daddy sitting in my living room when I got home from school. You disciplined me over the phone and mailed me tons of beautiful gifts from all of your destinations. My morals and values come from you. You always told me to be honest, "a man that lies will steal and cheat too." I remember when you used to teach yourself how to do my college homework just so you could help me or when I used to have you proofread my essays and you would re-write them (I always turned in your re-write versions). You aren’t a "do as I say, not as I do" daddy, you show me how to live right by being an example. I watch you constantly give of your time and your money and you ever backed it up by saying, "I never get tired of helping other people." Some may say I'm picky with choosing a man but they don’t know I have an awesome father who has shown me the characteristics of a man: a provider (not just financially but emotionally and spiritually), a leader, God-fearing, wise yet seeks more wisdom, loyal to his commitments, responsible, a faithful steward of his money, and to top it all off you are skilled in fixing cars and things around the house, cleaning, and cooking. You are the exact definition of a father and they should have your picture in the dictionary!

Thank you for being such a wonderful daddy to me!

Love You,Meatball, Nugget, Meaty Mouse <--a few of the nicknames my daddy calls me :)

Day 2 My Crush(es)

Crushes are so fun. They bring out the little girl in you. Remember when you used to have crushes on boys in grade school? Perhaps you wrote their name on your binders and drew hearts around it or if you were like me, you wrote their name on your leg or arm with a pen (hehe)

Crush #1 My PastSoo, all of my closest friends from Vegas know that I had the biggest crush on a certain some one as a teenager. His name is dun dun dun dun da dun...TJ. Anywho, I loved me some TJ. He was my sister's best male friend and I practically HARRASSED him :) I would answer the phone every time he called and I would constantly ask him when he was going to take me out. Despite the drastic age difference (I was 14 and he was 23), I was honestly convinced that he would one day give in...

Crush #2 The Real Deal Anywho, my current crush is "The Real Deal." He's a handsome, ambitious, respectable, God-loving and fearing, articulate, and did I mention sexy man. What I like most is that his outside matches his inside; he's not a waste of body! He spends a lot of time reading and of course I think that's super sexy :) So...You're probably wondering if I've approached my crush... Well if you know me then you know I have. You only get one life :) And yes, I'm glad I did...I challenge anyone that reads this (yes I’m talking to you) to approach your crush!

Crush #3 This is More Than a Crush...I'm soooo in love with LL Cool J *OMG* If he wasn’t married, I would actually have hope LOL. I've never I mean never met a man so beautiful in person. I was speechless. I froze right in my footsteps and couldn’t even say hi. He is definitely crowned the most perfect and sexiest man that ever existed here on earth... Hey Lover!

30 Journals in 30 Days

Calling All JAZZY CHICKS! Why don’t you join me as I partake in this fun journalism challenge? For the next 30 days, my friends and I will be blogging about 30 different topics. I'm extremely excited to share all of our fun and INTERESTING stories and pictures as we get to know each other a little better. I am encouraging all of you to join forces with your fellow JAZZY CHICKS and do this challenge too...Happy Blogging!

Day 1 — Your Best FriendDay

2 — Your CrushDay

3 — Your parentsDay

4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)Day

5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror