March Your Way Into Beauty

As we settle into the month of March, let us indulge ourselves in the beauty that comes along with bright vibrant colors.

Of course this is not to say that dark colors aren't beautiful too. It's simply the welcoming of all the pretty pastels and colors that resemble blossoming spring and summer flowers.

Below is a list of designers that are fashion worthy and pocket worthy to add to your change of the seasons wardrobe.

Betsey Johnson always makes the list as she keeps us in the
vibrant mood all year long.

http://www.betseyjohnson.com/

"LC" Lauren Conrad's Kohl's Collection is what every fashion diva
wishes for:

http://www.kohls.com/

One of my favorite designers Dinna Soliman. Check out her Spring
2010 Collection. Can you say double take?

http://www.dinnasoliman.com/

Love,

Demetrius

He's Just Not That Into You...

So many points to cover...Should I cover them all??


Oh what the hell--Lets do it!




So they practically depicted an image that its better to not be married than to be married. WTH! That's whats wrong with relationships today. No one values marriage so no one cares to grow towards it. We do everything and I mean everything that looks like a marriage but we don't go through with the ceremony to make it official. In the movie there were two couples that stood out: One that was married and the man ended up cheating on his wife with a woman that he found irresistible on all levels. The other couple was dating for seven years but broke up because the man didn't want to get married. When the woman finally stood her ground and said I'm leaving you because you don't want to marry me, he didn't stop her. Thank goodness for the happy ending where he redeemed himself and asked her to marry him. My point is, they painted a picture that the woman who shacked up with a man for SEVEN years ended up having the happy ending versus the woman who got married. I'm sure some women are now saying if I just be patient then it can happen. Well yes patience is a very good attribute to have but that doesn't make doing everything that a marriage entails before the actual ceremony a good thing. Hell why should he marry you. The way a man thinks (LOL) is if you're giving me all these things now than does a little piece of paper matter. Well its beyond a piece of paper its confirmation. Its a commitment. You act differently when there is a commitment involved; You invest more; You care more: You pamper it a little more and etc.



Next Point...

Women being so damn Open--Available--Easy!



Call me old school but damn let him chase you an itsy-bit.


(I say an itsy-bit but according to my poll the men said they like an easy catch lol just find your middle ground)



As a matter of fact I think its safe to say just do you. Chill out and let nature take its course. Make yourself available but don't be all desperate. These men claim they like it easy but I think some of them might have the getting to know you stage confused with the sexing you stage; so I'm going to be the voice for the men. In watching my male friends and even with my own experiences I've found that men like it when they actually take the time to get to know you. They tend to let the woman who they got to know very quickly, go very quickly. I think because it appears that the woman is moving too fast.



N-e-who like I said earlier


Now to my last point which are from the words of one of the characters.

"We're so focused on our happy endings that we can't tell the signs
that are in front of our faces"

No need for me to comment on that. It speaks for itself. Every man is not your damn husband as soon as you meet him...Geez! lol

Oh sorry. One last comment. Its a BIG one too... I'm going to write it in red so you don't miss it.

Stop Taking Advice From All Your Girlfriends When They Are Hopelessly Single Too!!!

Love,

Demetrius

Its about to be a…Girl Fight!

The word ridiculous could appropriately describe some of the relationships/vibes women have with each other today. While of course this is not the case with all women, it is a common and noticeable factor that is present whether acknowledged or not. As a matter of fact, this “catyness” can typically go unnoticed . A sweet and pleasant woman could indeed have “caty” characteristics.


You and your friends are sitting at a lounge having a good time. In walks a beautiful woman, well dressed and exuberates a great deal of self confidence. Your comment might be, “she thinks she’s all that.” The million dollar question here is: Why can’t she think she’s all that? Is she hurting you? Did she deliberately say I’m the greatest and I’m better than you—absolutely not. She didn’t say a thing but you were thinking those thoughts in your head. What do you expect to come from such negative thoughts? You’re going to treat her like she actually made those comments which in return would cause her to not be so receptive to you. The fact that she might think she’s all that is not always a bad thing. That doesn’t make her the enemy. If we could somehow make our way into an environment where “we” women can ALL think we’re “all that” and give the woman you encounter her props for thinking the same thing then we just might get further in life. The fact of the matter for this case would be: do not let another woman with a positive humble attitude or a cocky rude attitude dictate a negative response from you.


Now on another note, the woman who walks in the room deserves some advice as well. Are you walking in the room with a self confident yet humble spirit and are being misunderstood or are you walking in the room like, “bitches look at me!”

"I walked in the room, head held high. I knew she was my competition and I was
determined to change her status to the level of an underdog"

"I know why she's staring... My measurements paired with my skin complexion equals perfection. If she were a skunk her scent would be envy"

Be honest with yourself. Is this you? Are you thinking these thoughts in your head? If so, get real; get a life or get a hobby. The attitude is so unnecessary. It would appear that you were creating thoughts in your head very much similar to the group of women that were previously mentioned. You’ve painted a picture of what you think they’re saying and thinking. Its okay, actually it’s recommended to have a great deal of confidence. But be mindful not to confuse confidence with cockiness.

Women today are fighting too many battles. We have other things to fight and should be fighting for those causes together. Such things as, making men step up to their God given plate and be men; not being discriminated against at work by way of salary and position. How can we collectively fight these battles when we’re too busy fighting our selves. Wouldn’t it be strange to see two armies on their way to the battle field yet one side is duking it out amongst each other before the battle can even begin?

A lifelong mindset might take some time to change but the first step is always remembered upon entering into success. Next time you’re on either side, the woman walking in the room or the group of women in a room, smile at each other and find one thing positive to say.

Love,

Demetrius

He left you for "You"

Let me get this right...(In the voice of Ne-yo)

You've changed your hair, your style, the way you think, even the way you talk and now you find out he's cheating on you or he confesses to you that he doesn't love you anymore.

I like to write about the most common things that go un-discussed. This situation is one that is done both intentional and unconsciously. You either know off bat that you're going to become the woman he desires or you slowly but surely desire to please him so unbeknowst to you, you become all of what he wants. Either way you start seeing less of you and all of him. You may feel like you're simply catering to your man or pleasing your man. Yeah it really does feel that way but how do you feel about the changes you are making? Because if you're hating the changes now and know you would be pissed off about the changes if he left you then really the changes are in vain. You have to know how to stay true to yourself; true to the woman he claimed he fell in love with.

Lets go deeper............

All the celebs that he's attracted to have short hair so you cut your hair short. You know he might want to move to another state soon so you hold off on going back to school until you figure out what hes going to do. You allow him to pick out all of your clothes even though you don't like the things he picks. You stop hanging out with your friends and you stop doing all the things you love to do and you focus on his favorite things. So basically you went from a long haired college student who dresses kinda funky and likes to go skating to a short haired college drop out who shops at the Gap who retired her skates and bugs her boyfriend because she has no life of her own anymore.

And now.....

He comes to you and says, "Its not you its me." And you see him with another chic who looks like you use to look. So you ask him what the hell is this all about? And he tells you, "I like a woman who enjoys being herself. One who wants to please me but not at all cost. It's okay to tell me you don't like something or you want to be alone for the evening. He tells you, you became less of a challenge and more of a leech."

It hurts hughh???

So whats up with us being willing to loose our identity to be with someone? How about you keep your identity and fall in love with the person who loves you for you.

The reality of seeing him with someone else might be just what you need. Cause if you don't learn your lesson on this one it just might go too far on the next one. At least in my example it was easy to bounce back: buy a wig, take your skates out of the closet, register for classes since you only missed one semester and go shopping to heal from the heart break and to get your wardrobe back.

But unfortunately it sometimes goes too far. You've been his wife for ten years and he up and leaves you for the woman you use to be. Well you have no clue where your skates are or even how to skate, you don't remember half of the stuff you learned from school to continue on without a hellofa refresh course. You haven't shopped for your style in so long that you're actually trained to know what he likes so you automatically buy those things and you've gotten so use to the short hair that you actually like it.

This woman in the last example is the majority. Don't get me wrong she has, can and will bounce back, it just hurts like hell when you think of those ten long years you spent being someone else and he has the audacity to leave You for "You."

My thing is ladies, just be yourself. If he likes you he likes you if he doesn't he doesn't, oh the hell well...NEXT!!!!


Love,

Demetrius

What Becomes of the Impatient Person?

Being impatient is one of the devil's low blows. He hits you with it and before you know it you've lived half of your life with this horrible thing ruining your progress and your success. Being impatient can hit you on every level: relationship, career, financial, and etc.

So what exactly becomes of the impatient person?

Well they can most definitely miss out on all the blessings and good things that are in store for them.

"The Man" One of the major impatient factors women deal with. Not only is it your impatience that can get in the way on this one but I'm sure your parent's and your friend's impatience doesn't help much either. You've told yourself that you're going to focus on God and when the right person comes along and you have a GREAT feeling about him then you'll give it a try. Okay now that six months have gone by and you haven't met one guy who even passes your "Don't use drugs not even socially test" or your "I'm celibate until marriage test" you decide to go back to dating whomever cause you cant wait anymore. And you say to hell with your test because even with simple test as the ones I named you could miss out on your husband. Or you just go on random blind dates to please your mother or prove to your father that your not gay since you're over thirty and still single. (Cracking up laughing at my self) My point here is, if God told you to wait then who cares how long it is and who cares what other people have to say. I know I know easier said than done. Reevaluate what you're waiting for anyway. Sometimes its not even just about the art of learning how to be patient, it might be about what you're going to learn and how you're going to grow in the time frame of this patience.

"Finances" Another big one. Partly the reason behind half of America loosing their houses. Getting into homes they couldn't afford because they were too impatient to wait for when the time was right to buy a house or maybe it was about buying a house at a certain price. You wanted the $300,000 one instead of the $200,000 one so they worked some figures and pulled some strings and got you into that balloon mortgage that you couldn't afford and couldn't refinance. Well if you would have gotten the house you could afford or waited it out a little while longer until you were able to save up enough emergency money then perhaps you would have been able to pay the mortgage for those tough six months you went through.
Lets not even get into shopping and running up that credit card from Nordstrom, Macy's, and Saks... Just cant wait till you can pay for it after payday hughh???? :--)

"The Career" is a good one too. You hate your job so you jump right into another one or you flat out quit cause you know you'll find another one. Your new job decides to downsize and since you're the last one hired...you know the rest. Well I'm completely guilty of this one, yes I'm the quitter LOL. Perhaps you should have made plans and set goals, worked hard towards them and when you reached them then quit or took a leave for two or three weeks (if feasible) to test it out before you up and quit.

I could go on and on about the decisions we make from being impatient; especially since I recently learned that was my main problem, but we all know better. We feel it in our gut when were making a wrong choice. We even back it up with that whole "Oh well" I'm taking a chance.

So where do you go from here since you've made all those mistakes up above and then some more?

Its really a simple thing, meditate with God and make plans for the things you want in life. Write down the responsible and sensible steps it would take to get there, and do what you can and pray to God for what you cant. Most importantly remember we can make plans but God has the final say so...

Love,

Demetrius

Things that make you go hmmmmm...

Do you ever wonder what God was thinking when he created sex?
The very thing that is intended for reproduction is the very thing that is quite satisfying.
Was the satisfying part created to be an incentive?
Would man kind still reproduce with out "the feeling" of satisfaction?
Everything that God does is purposeful. Wisdom was there when God created the heavens and the earth (Proverbs 3:19-20)

So this thing called sex which is meant for reproduction but feels so satisfying that man kind says forget reproduction but lets do this for complacent reasons was created by God with wisdom?

I think one of my questions would be why does it have to feel so good? Many attempt to take the celibacy pathway and many fail--All because it feels so good.

If sex didn't feel good, wouldn't we have less problems today?

Well no doubt, God is the great I Am, so this sex thing which was created with wisdom feels good because its suppose to. God doesn't make mistakes. So us humans who cant stop having sex because it "feels so good" have got to get it together. Its just another way that the devil comes in and turns one of God's greatest invented things into a disaster. The devil kills us with our own weapons.

This thing called sex which is good, feels good, and good results come from it was created to be utilized by a married couple. All things good come from sex when you've met the "license" requirements. (Well are suppose to at least)
But of course we like to drive unlicensed, license suspended, too young to even see over the steering wheel and we're talking about driving in the fast lane. That's when the devil has his fun. STD's; abortions; men not claiming their kids; women abandoning their kids; kids abandoning their kids; and etc.


So to answer the question as to what God was thinking when He made sex feel good...
I believe He was thinking they will have free will. If they choose My will then it will be good if they don't then, of course you know the rest...

Does it really feel that good???????

Love,

Demetrius

Lovers & Friends

So I'm listening to the lyrics of Usher's "Lovers and Friends" and I've seen clips of Steve Harvey saying it's impossible for men and women to be "just friends" and it made me ponder......

I think I'm in agreement with Steve Harvey on this one. Maybe if you're friends that don't hang out all that much or if you do hang out then there's always other friends around than okay, I can see it staying in the safe zone but if it's just you and that friend rolling solo to the movies, shopping, chit chatting on the phone, and spending the night together then somethings bound to pop off.

Below is a partial piece of Lil John's part in "Lovers and Friends":

"I's been knowing you fo' a long time,
But (beep) never crossed my mind,
But tonight I seen sumthin' in ya,
That made me wanna get wit 'cha,
You ain't been nuttin' but a friend to me,
And a (beep) never ever dreamed to be,
Up in here, kissin', huggin', squeezin', touchin'

I honestly believe that is how it goes. You either start off with a hidden agenda from jump or you come into it completely innocent and get blind sided by a passionate kiss during one of your movie nights.

This is not a bad thing at all. The mere fact that you both were good friends could be a hella of start to a lasting relationship. I mean think about it; you know each other's faults, you know the things either of you would never tell to a potential partner, and etc. etc. Bottom line is, you know all about each other, so why not?

Some might say, well wouldn't that ruin the friendship, I mean what would happen if the relationship doesn't last?

I say this, either or, the friendship is ruined if you're spending a lot of time together because feelings are going to develop naturally. You either A don't act on your feelings of passion and drive yourself nuts fantasizing about this person and trying to keep from pouncing on him/her when you are together which leads to built in stress and conflict or B you get together and live happily ever after or get together and realize its not for you. If you're mature and strong enough you can go back to being friends. But either way you look at it Option B is much smarter and fun than option A.

Sorry everyone but I'm sold on the fact that men and women can't be "just friends"

Love,

Demetrius