Day 14: Someone You Drifted Away From

In 2007, I made some major changes. I didn’t drift away from a person, I drifted away from a lot of people. You know the saying, “This plane is ready for take off and if you’re not on board then you’re getting left.” <-- At least I think that’s the saying LOL. Anyway, I had to leave some people behind. It wasn’t that I was better than them: it was the positivity/negativity thing. I was looking to better my life, be positive, work on my dreams, and grow closer with God. I couldn’t deal with the drama, negativity, and constant chaos. I believe that if you want to be happy and positive, you can. Some people choose to have drama in their life; they wrap themselves in drama everyday. I just couldn’t carry that with me and I still refuse to. I have enough stress of my own with pursuing my goals so why keep people around that don’t benefit me and that I can’t benefit? As positive as I am, I know that there are people that can’t deal with my lifestyle. My advice is going to be different, my conversation is going to be different, even my nightlife is different. Yes I still have fun, hang out, and socialize but needless to say I know for a fact that I am different. I believe in forgiveness, letting love go and if it finds its way back to you then it’s meant to be. I believe in seeking God for advice first and loving yourself to the fullest. Knowing that I’m human and I sometimes have downfalls, it helps to have positive friends that will remind you and keep you on track. One thing that I can say is, my Houston crew is exactly what I’m talking about (No offense Vegas…I do have awesome people here too) If I go to any of them with a personal problem, we pray, we discuss, and we definitely handle the situation in the best way possible. I love that! I love that I can say I have an awesome, intelligent, goal-seeking, positive, and ambitious set of friends.

So, to ALL of the people that I've drifted away from…I hope that you don’t take offense to this and I wish you the best in life. I’m not judging you, I just know that our relationship is better off from afar.

Day 13: I'm Sorry

Dear Everyone!

Wow, where do I begin? I know for sure that it would probably take a year to apologize to all of the people I’ve hurt. First and foremost I would like for everyone to know that hurt people, hurt people. Deep down inside, I was full of pain and that caused me to be oblivious to the anger that I was dishing out to other people. If you’ve paid attention to any of my social media websites, then I’m sure you can see the changes that have overcome me: the way that I talk and most importantly my attitude. My change means a lot to me, because the change you see on the outside is a reflection of the peace and happiness that I have on the inside. I wouldn’t dare name the people or the incidents but if I’ve hurt you physically or verbally, let this serve as my upmost deepest apology. Although, all of my mistakes were before the year of 2007, it still means a lot to me to be able to tell everyone sorry.

My advice to the people I’ve hurt and to anyone that has ever been hurt before—FORGIVE! Forgiveness is the best medicine to any kind of pain. I’m speaking from experience. The biggest situation that I had to overcome and forgive brought me the greatest peace and freedom that I’ve ever experienced. How did I forgive? Through the grace and love of Jesus. I didn’t know that it would be possible to replace anger with forgiveness but I opened my heart and said I want to forgive but I don’t know how and just like that God granted me the gift of forgiveness.

If He did it for me then He can do it for you too...

Day 11: Dear E. Lynn Harris

Dear E. Lynn Harris

My distant and late mentor. Oh how I wish you were still here; here to continue your legacy of awesomeness! I will never forget the first book I read of yours, "Anyway the Wind Blows." I was only in the 11th grade and I'm not quite sure how I first became interested in you as an author but I can honestly say that whatever it was, it was meant to be. I had no clue about the "downlow" world but you opened my eyes wide and clear. As a woman, I truly thank you. Who would have known that you writing fiction literature would actually educate people on real life situations? I experienced your struggle and your pain with every one of your books. At first, I thought you were just a great writer. It wasn’t until I read your memoir "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" that I considered you to be the best. How could a memoir be so engaging and such a page turner!?

I remember the day that you past away. I was so hurt. I planned on meeting you and asking you to write a quote for my book cover. No one and I mean NO ONE could replace the joy I would have experienced to see your quote on my work. I decided to omit the quote all together because you are truly irreplaceable.

E. Lynn Harris, I want you to know that you will always be an inspiration to me. You are a pioneer to the African-American literature world and you will be forever missed.

Day 10: Wishing You Had More time

**Note** I don’t have too many people in my life so the people that I’m close to, I talk to and we always stay current with each other. This post applies to someone who is busy at the moment so I do wish I could talk to this person more at the moment.

Dear You!

Proud of you yes, sad that you’re super busy :( Yes! Your busyness actually had me questioning our friendship. The reason being is, from experience, I make time for the important people in my life and everyone else gets the left over time. No matter what kind of deadlines or assignments I may have, I still manage to talk with my closest friends and fam on a day to day basis. When you started to get busy, our communication started to decrease. We went from talking everyday to talking once or twice a week. I was like hmmm…If he can’t make time for me then he’s probably not the friend I thought he was. You’ve missed out on some key milestones in my life these past few months. I may be a big baby and I may also be blowing this out of proportion but what can I say…Its how I feel and I’m simply expressing myself. Our friendship is like a relationship so you knew what you were getting into when you committed to this friendship LOL. But seriously, I miss our random conversations and our fun times hanging out together. The only thing that keeps me believing in this friendship is the way you make me feel when we do talk. You make me feel super special and at the end of our conversations I can tell how much you care and love me.

Looking forward to the days where you can better manage your time :(

Day 9: I so Want to Meet Tyler Perry

Dear Tyler Perry,

Let’s skip the small talk…I would love to meet and work with you! For the longest, the only thing I knew about you was that at some point you were homeless. I always remind myself that if you can go from homeless to what you are now then surely I can go from a kinda-known writer to a nationally known and respected one. Whenever things get tough, I remind myself of how tough it must have been for you. This past month, I got to know you a little more with your Oprah interview. A Christian recognizes another Christian and when you spoke about forgiveness…I knew that you were someone that I really needed to meet. Forgiveness is hard, I know this from experience but when you have God on your side, all things are possible. To know that you forgave the people that hurt you the most and to know your struggle puts you high on my list of mentors. When I see successful people, I honestly don’t wish I could be like them, I don’t want your success; I want my own, but I do want to know your experiences, because I know they will help me in creating my own experiences and legacy. Because I’m involved in the media, I see a lot of negative criticism about you. In my last review that I wrote about “For Colored Girls” I made mention to this. The critics seem awfully hard on you. I hope you don’t listen to ANY of them. I believe in “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” I’m sure we would be amazed if a camera followed some of these so called “critics”

Tyler Perry I think your work and your path is amazing and when I meet and work with you for the first time, I’m going to make sure you get a chance to read this letter.

Day 8: My Favorite Internt Friend(s)

Hmmm… This one is quite difficult since I don’t have any internet “friends” that aren’t my “regular” friends and I don t have any “regular” friends that I like to talk to on the internet. I do however have favorite websites that I visit and technically they can be considered internet friends.

Sharebuilder.com

I’m trying to grow my moolah and since I’m new to this…this website is great!

MediaBistro.com

I’m a writer…Duh! I love this website because it’s so resourceful.

Essence.com

I’ll be a life time supporter of Essence as long as they remain true to the woman of color. I love reading and writing (hint-hint Essence should hire me) about all things related to women!

Facebook.com

Keeping in touch with my friends, family, and fans is very simple because of FB. I’ve been a Facebook user since 2005…

TheYBF.com

SandraRose.com

I’m not much of a gossip lover but both of these websites have a good mixture of gossip and positive information so I visit them both on a daily basis.

Day 7: Dear Ex

Dear Ex:

Where do I begin? First I want to thank you. Not for being the best man to me "obviously" but because every single thing that I went through with you gave me the wisdom that I have today. You have no idea how much I grew from dating you. I know what true love is now because you showed me what love wasn’t. You were the first and up until this year "only" person I ever loved. I was convinced that you were the last person that I was going to date because I found him...I found my pot of gold (at least that’s what I thought) You opened my eyes to the theme that I used for my novel "A Man Will Only Do What You Allow Him To" I heard that phrase plenty of times but of course, I'm hard headed. For some reason my relationship with you really helped me to see the truth in that phrase. I look at you now and I see you still living the exact same lifestyle. It drives me crazy! and let me tell you why. Despite our lack of happily ever after bliss, I know that you have the possibility to be an awesome partner/husband. You're getting too old to be caring on like you do. I'm sure you've come across some awesome women so I'm confused as to why you haven’t settled down with one of them yet. I would much rather find out that you're married and decided to give up the lavish living than finding out that you’re doing the exact same things. I have sympathy for you because now I think there must be something wrong. I think you are cautious of commitments because you don’t deal with loss too well. Its fine to be hurt from your childhood and your past but you can’t take that into your future. Despite the crazy lifestyle you live, you're a pretty sweet, goofy, and cool person. Why don’t you let that light shine? I want you to know that I have absolutely no hard feelings towards you and wish you the best in life.

The next woman that you meet, if she’s everything that you ever imagined...Wife her crazy boy :)

Day 6: A Stranger

So one day my Model (My BFF Meron) and I were at a car dealership getting her a car. The salesman kept talking to us and mentioning God's name. I don’t remember exactly what he was saying but he had to have mentioned God's name like 20 times. We ended up at his desk and our conversation went from getting her a car to giving us a positive message. He looked at both of us and told us we were destined to be friends. He told me that I was sick and that I could relax because everything was going to be okay. In my head I was like (Whatever I don’t believe it. This man is just saying stuff) He then looked back at me and was like, didn’t I tell you that you're fine, why don’t you believe me? Needless to say I was sick and very nervous. I started crying. At that moment I said okay I believe you. He told her that she was in a bad relationship and that she needed to get out of it and she actually was. He told us a lot more things that night, all which have came true. He told me that I was going to be sooo successful and influential. All of this was taking place in the middle of the show room at a desk. I couldn’t tell you what the rest of the customers were doing or if other people were there; our conversation was that intense. He told my Model and I that we needed each other and that we would always be there to help each other. He ended the conversation with telling us to go to our car and pray together which we did for the very first time. She didn’t even get a car that night but we received an awesome message from a pure stranger. I called the dealership a few weeks later and asked for him and no one knew of who he was...

I have a feeling that who we thought was a stranger was someone we knew all along. :)

Day 5: My Dreams

Dear Dreams!

Everyday I make a point to achieve you. Everyday I make an effort to add more to you. I never neglect you and I've never given up on you. But lately...lately you've been acting strange. It feels like our relationship is somehow falling apart. Things have become much harder and confusing. When I think about you I'm so happy. The problem is when I make plans for us. Are you scared of commitments or something? Why do you act all funny when I make plans for our future? You start changing and finding ways to stress me out.

Dreams, will you please get your act together? National Best Selling Author, Owner of a Non-Profit that helps women reach wholeness and peace, TV show host, and writer extraordinaire...Get with the program!

Day 4: The Best Sister in the World

My Big/Little Sister!

So, I don’t know how fun or amazing my life would have been without my sister being in it! When I was younger, I wanted to be just like her, I would even buy the exact same clothes as her. They say the younger sibling will learn faster when they have an older sibling, hmmm.... is that what happened? You've been there to support me in every milestone of my life and you've been there to help me with every obstacle of my life.

Remember when you disowned me for a year because I bought the same shoes as you?Remember when you used to let me drive to Kaia's house when I was 15 years old? (No DL LOL)Remember when you would let me drive from one freeway entrance to the next exit so I could learn how to drive on the freeway?Remember when I would wake you up at 5am and ask you to curl my hair for school?**Note** (Most of the fun memories are "too much" for me to post on here LOL) I.E. Cancun, James, 18 + club, need I say more :)

I want to shout THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart but I also want you to know that I'm looking forward to creating memories of me supporting you and making a difference in your life...

Love You!Metis

Day 3: My Mommy and Daddy

Let me start off by saying that I wouldn’t trade my parents for the world... Well, on some days I would (hehe)

Dear Mommy,At first I thought our relationship was weird, being that we didn’t start getting alone until I was in my 20's but then I meet more and more mothers and daughters who shared the same late blooming relationship. It’s great to know were normal! I do however, hate that we had to start that way and I hate that it's such a common thing. Being that I'm not a person that lives in the past, I'm able to learn from it and enjoy what we have now, which is a fun, loving and very close relationship. I laugh all day at you-literally. You have a ton of personality, even while you're in the hospital bed. Who in the world gets mad at the hospital because they won’t bring them a chicken wrap, 2 days after they just had surgery on their neck...only you! Most people don’t know, but I moved home to help take care of you after your 2nd surgery because you mean that much to me. I'm looking forward to more laughs and creating tons of memories that I can forever share with my children.

Love Ya,Miss Piggy

Daddy!

My very close relationship with you is no secret to you or the world :) Everyone knows that I'm a daddy's girl. I would however like to explain why I'm such a daddy's girl. You are the ultimate role model; the definition of a man. You were in the military while I was growing up yet you never missed any of my birthdays. I knew without a doubt that on May 4th, I would see my daddy sitting in my living room when I got home from school. You disciplined me over the phone and mailed me tons of beautiful gifts from all of your destinations. My morals and values come from you. You always told me to be honest, "a man that lies will steal and cheat too." I remember when you used to teach yourself how to do my college homework just so you could help me or when I used to have you proofread my essays and you would re-write them (I always turned in your re-write versions). You aren’t a "do as I say, not as I do" daddy, you show me how to live right by being an example. I watch you constantly give of your time and your money and you ever backed it up by saying, "I never get tired of helping other people." Some may say I'm picky with choosing a man but they don’t know I have an awesome father who has shown me the characteristics of a man: a provider (not just financially but emotionally and spiritually), a leader, God-fearing, wise yet seeks more wisdom, loyal to his commitments, responsible, a faithful steward of his money, and to top it all off you are skilled in fixing cars and things around the house, cleaning, and cooking. You are the exact definition of a father and they should have your picture in the dictionary!

Thank you for being such a wonderful daddy to me!

Love You,Meatball, Nugget, Meaty Mouse <--a few of the nicknames my daddy calls me :)

Day 2 My Crush(es)

Crushes are so fun. They bring out the little girl in you. Remember when you used to have crushes on boys in grade school? Perhaps you wrote their name on your binders and drew hearts around it or if you were like me, you wrote their name on your leg or arm with a pen (hehe)

Crush #1 My PastSoo, all of my closest friends from Vegas know that I had the biggest crush on a certain some one as a teenager. His name is dun dun dun dun da dun...TJ. Anywho, I loved me some TJ. He was my sister's best male friend and I practically HARRASSED him :) I would answer the phone every time he called and I would constantly ask him when he was going to take me out. Despite the drastic age difference (I was 14 and he was 23), I was honestly convinced that he would one day give in...

Crush #2 The Real Deal Anywho, my current crush is "The Real Deal." He's a handsome, ambitious, respectable, God-loving and fearing, articulate, and did I mention sexy man. What I like most is that his outside matches his inside; he's not a waste of body! He spends a lot of time reading and of course I think that's super sexy :) So...You're probably wondering if I've approached my crush... Well if you know me then you know I have. You only get one life :) And yes, I'm glad I did...I challenge anyone that reads this (yes I’m talking to you) to approach your crush!

Crush #3 This is More Than a Crush...I'm soooo in love with LL Cool J *OMG* If he wasn’t married, I would actually have hope LOL. I've never I mean never met a man so beautiful in person. I was speechless. I froze right in my footsteps and couldn’t even say hi. He is definitely crowned the most perfect and sexiest man that ever existed here on earth... Hey Lover!

30 Journals in 30 Days

Calling All JAZZY CHICKS! Why don’t you join me as I partake in this fun journalism challenge? For the next 30 days, my friends and I will be blogging about 30 different topics. I'm extremely excited to share all of our fun and INTERESTING stories and pictures as we get to know each other a little better. I am encouraging all of you to join forces with your fellow JAZZY CHICKS and do this challenge too...Happy Blogging!

Day 1 — Your Best FriendDay

2 — Your CrushDay

3 — Your parentsDay

4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)Day

5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

When to hold em' and when to fold em'

The highest hand in poker is a ROYAL FLUSH. Its very clear and obvious: an ace, king, queen, jack, and a ten.


As easy as it is to spot a "royal flush" in poker, it's unfortunately not that easy when it comes to relationships. However, there are plenty of signs that are noticeable and will cause you to be quite clear on the fact that you've been dealt a bad hand. While I don't normally like to call out names, considering the fact that you never really know the details of other people's relationships. This time I'll make an exception, and its strictly for the sake of painting a clearer picture. The couple that is up for example is: Eric and Jennifer Williams of VH1's Basketball Wives. Now if you aren't in tune with this TV series, then you need to be updated asap!



Jennifer Williams is married to ex-NBA player Eric Williams. In my opinion, the only thing that binds them to marriage is the paper certificate. His actions, love, respect, and loyalty is non-existent in their relationship. So why would she or any woman in this situation stay? That's an interesting question, and since we don't have the FULL details, we can only go by assumptions. My first reaction was that Mrs. Jennifer is humming to the tune of Beyonce's "Ring the alarm." As a matter of fact, this type of situation is brought to light in my book. The girlfriend/fiance/wife not wanting to leave a well established man because of the fear of seeing another woman on his arm. This type of woman feels that shes been there through thick and thin and feels entitled to being the only receiver of his benefits. Well here's a little advice to all the ladies that think in this same manner (someone is already being a receiver of his benefits and in many instances its more than one or two others...) Love can also be a factor, you have tons of women staying in bad relationships with ordinary men because of so called "love." When I say ordinary, I mean by society's standards. A man who's a garbage man, a banker, even unemployed, can take a woman on an emotional roller coaster like this. The conclusion I offer about the female characters in my book and about non-fiction characters such as Jennifer, is the ever present lack of confidence and the strong aura of insecurity. WOW! Can a beautiful woman such as Jennifer, lack confidence and be insecure? Absolutely! Jennifer has nothing to loose by leaving Eric. She has no children and they don't own any businesses together. There's no spider webs here, no tangled ropes with burned ends. She has so much room to get out, the space is as big as that damn house they were looking to get together. And by the way did they really think that buying a house can mend a broken relationship?

Which brings me to my next point and this hits home. We women, tend to attach some type of materialistic object to receiving more love from a man. We somehow desire to trap him. No I'm not taking about "trap" him in a malicious way, I'm speaking of "trapping" him in a physical commitment way. Buying a house together and the biggest way "having a baby together." All to often, you hear women say, "he'll change if we have children." Those are the exact words of one of the characters in my book. She hopelessly thought her man would love her more and be faithful if they had a child together. The foundation of your love is going to determine the direction of your love. Your love foundation can not be your children, a house, a business, or any other physically binding commitments. Your love foundation is all the characteristics that are mentioned in the bible. Whether you believe in the bible or not, its a proven fact, Love is: patient, kind, humble, keeps no record of wrongs, slow to anger, it does not envy, always protects, always hopes, and never fails. If you cant say that about your love than you might want to consider folding cause you might have been dealt a bad hand of cards.

While Jennifer is probably considered the worst one of them all, the fakest, and the most hated; I'm starting to have a little sympathy for the woman. I can sense a wounded animal when I see one and we all should know the behavior of a wounded animal. Hands down Jennifer has been dealt a bad hand and I didn't go into detail about Eric because I wanted to save that for another entry, but trust me, I have a few darts to through his way. My point was to speak on Jennifer, a representation of many women, maybe not as a baller's wife but as a woman staying for all the wrong reasons; a women wounded, who wounds others; a woman not noticing her own worth so she accepts anything; a beautiful woman acting ugly; a woman who allows a man to treat her like crap; a woman who is is scared of being an individual; a woman who is scared of change. So while you were originally pointing the finger at Jennifer, you might have to look in the mirror, as you could possibly see the same reflection she sees.

No, every situation isn't going to be perfect, but just as players sit around the poker table, evaluating the hand they've been dealt, you too, need to evaluate if you should hold em' or fold em'


Love,

Demetrius

Woman 2 Woman

Why do we not stick together?

Why do we compete against each other?

Why do we not give props when props are due?

Why do we not seek advice from each other, in fear that we'll be exposed in thinking the other is great at what they do?

Admit it or not, these are some of the common problems that can hinder a woman's growth. Sometimes they are conscious and sometimes subconscious but needless to say they are prevalent in the way we relate to each other.

Man Scorned

What's worse???

A man scorned or the sound of some one dragging their nails down a chalk board?

"I'd have to say a man scorned."

Yeah you might think its cute because it shows how he's in touch with his emotions, but umm what about when he continues to act in this scorned manner?



What about when his insecurities start to get the best of you?

He constantly makes mention to what his ex-girlfriends have done in the past.

"Why didn't you introduce me to your friends? You know that reminds me of my ex, when she didn't want to be with me anymore. She would act as if I wasn't even there when I seen her out with her friends. I mean I'm not trying to compare you two but I'm just saying."

"You sure you're just tired? You wanted to head back to the house awful earlier than usual. Is everything okay? My ex started acting that way right around the time I caught her cheating. She was nervous that she was going to get caught trying to balance me and the other dude. I know you're not her but this situation is bring up ill feelings."

"Now I know you don't want to hear about my ex anymore but I really want to get this off of my chest. Lately you've been very busy and I cant help but feel that you might be loosing interest in me. She was acting the same way and I just don't want our relationship to end up like my last one."

Scorned, insecure, crazy or whatever you want to call it, its just flat out annoying. No one wants to keep hearing about your damn ex. We get it okay. You're not over her. Perhaps you should chill out for a little bit and work on your little situation.

Ladies if you run into a man scorned, do yourself a favor and RUN........

Love,

Demetrius

March Your Way Into Beauty

As we settle into the month of March, let us indulge ourselves in the beauty that comes along with bright vibrant colors.

Of course this is not to say that dark colors aren't beautiful too. It's simply the welcoming of all the pretty pastels and colors that resemble blossoming spring and summer flowers.

Below is a list of designers that are fashion worthy and pocket worthy to add to your change of the seasons wardrobe.

Betsey Johnson always makes the list as she keeps us in the
vibrant mood all year long.

http://www.betseyjohnson.com/

"LC" Lauren Conrad's Kohl's Collection is what every fashion diva
wishes for:

http://www.kohls.com/

One of my favorite designers Dinna Soliman. Check out her Spring
2010 Collection. Can you say double take?

http://www.dinnasoliman.com/

Love,

Demetrius

He's Just Not That Into You...

So many points to cover...Should I cover them all??


Oh what the hell--Lets do it!




So they practically depicted an image that its better to not be married than to be married. WTH! That's whats wrong with relationships today. No one values marriage so no one cares to grow towards it. We do everything and I mean everything that looks like a marriage but we don't go through with the ceremony to make it official. In the movie there were two couples that stood out: One that was married and the man ended up cheating on his wife with a woman that he found irresistible on all levels. The other couple was dating for seven years but broke up because the man didn't want to get married. When the woman finally stood her ground and said I'm leaving you because you don't want to marry me, he didn't stop her. Thank goodness for the happy ending where he redeemed himself and asked her to marry him. My point is, they painted a picture that the woman who shacked up with a man for SEVEN years ended up having the happy ending versus the woman who got married. I'm sure some women are now saying if I just be patient then it can happen. Well yes patience is a very good attribute to have but that doesn't make doing everything that a marriage entails before the actual ceremony a good thing. Hell why should he marry you. The way a man thinks (LOL) is if you're giving me all these things now than does a little piece of paper matter. Well its beyond a piece of paper its confirmation. Its a commitment. You act differently when there is a commitment involved; You invest more; You care more: You pamper it a little more and etc.



Next Point...

Women being so damn Open--Available--Easy!



Call me old school but damn let him chase you an itsy-bit.


(I say an itsy-bit but according to my poll the men said they like an easy catch lol just find your middle ground)



As a matter of fact I think its safe to say just do you. Chill out and let nature take its course. Make yourself available but don't be all desperate. These men claim they like it easy but I think some of them might have the getting to know you stage confused with the sexing you stage; so I'm going to be the voice for the men. In watching my male friends and even with my own experiences I've found that men like it when they actually take the time to get to know you. They tend to let the woman who they got to know very quickly, go very quickly. I think because it appears that the woman is moving too fast.



N-e-who like I said earlier


Now to my last point which are from the words of one of the characters.

"We're so focused on our happy endings that we can't tell the signs
that are in front of our faces"

No need for me to comment on that. It speaks for itself. Every man is not your damn husband as soon as you meet him...Geez! lol

Oh sorry. One last comment. Its a BIG one too... I'm going to write it in red so you don't miss it.

Stop Taking Advice From All Your Girlfriends When They Are Hopelessly Single Too!!!

Love,

Demetrius

Its about to be a…Girl Fight!

The word ridiculous could appropriately describe some of the relationships/vibes women have with each other today. While of course this is not the case with all women, it is a common and noticeable factor that is present whether acknowledged or not. As a matter of fact, this “catyness” can typically go unnoticed . A sweet and pleasant woman could indeed have “caty” characteristics.


You and your friends are sitting at a lounge having a good time. In walks a beautiful woman, well dressed and exuberates a great deal of self confidence. Your comment might be, “she thinks she’s all that.” The million dollar question here is: Why can’t she think she’s all that? Is she hurting you? Did she deliberately say I’m the greatest and I’m better than you—absolutely not. She didn’t say a thing but you were thinking those thoughts in your head. What do you expect to come from such negative thoughts? You’re going to treat her like she actually made those comments which in return would cause her to not be so receptive to you. The fact that she might think she’s all that is not always a bad thing. That doesn’t make her the enemy. If we could somehow make our way into an environment where “we” women can ALL think we’re “all that” and give the woman you encounter her props for thinking the same thing then we just might get further in life. The fact of the matter for this case would be: do not let another woman with a positive humble attitude or a cocky rude attitude dictate a negative response from you.


Now on another note, the woman who walks in the room deserves some advice as well. Are you walking in the room with a self confident yet humble spirit and are being misunderstood or are you walking in the room like, “bitches look at me!”

"I walked in the room, head held high. I knew she was my competition and I was
determined to change her status to the level of an underdog"

"I know why she's staring... My measurements paired with my skin complexion equals perfection. If she were a skunk her scent would be envy"

Be honest with yourself. Is this you? Are you thinking these thoughts in your head? If so, get real; get a life or get a hobby. The attitude is so unnecessary. It would appear that you were creating thoughts in your head very much similar to the group of women that were previously mentioned. You’ve painted a picture of what you think they’re saying and thinking. Its okay, actually it’s recommended to have a great deal of confidence. But be mindful not to confuse confidence with cockiness.

Women today are fighting too many battles. We have other things to fight and should be fighting for those causes together. Such things as, making men step up to their God given plate and be men; not being discriminated against at work by way of salary and position. How can we collectively fight these battles when we’re too busy fighting our selves. Wouldn’t it be strange to see two armies on their way to the battle field yet one side is duking it out amongst each other before the battle can even begin?

A lifelong mindset might take some time to change but the first step is always remembered upon entering into success. Next time you’re on either side, the woman walking in the room or the group of women in a room, smile at each other and find one thing positive to say.

Love,

Demetrius

He left you for "You"

Let me get this right...(In the voice of Ne-yo)

You've changed your hair, your style, the way you think, even the way you talk and now you find out he's cheating on you or he confesses to you that he doesn't love you anymore.

I like to write about the most common things that go un-discussed. This situation is one that is done both intentional and unconsciously. You either know off bat that you're going to become the woman he desires or you slowly but surely desire to please him so unbeknowst to you, you become all of what he wants. Either way you start seeing less of you and all of him. You may feel like you're simply catering to your man or pleasing your man. Yeah it really does feel that way but how do you feel about the changes you are making? Because if you're hating the changes now and know you would be pissed off about the changes if he left you then really the changes are in vain. You have to know how to stay true to yourself; true to the woman he claimed he fell in love with.

Lets go deeper............

All the celebs that he's attracted to have short hair so you cut your hair short. You know he might want to move to another state soon so you hold off on going back to school until you figure out what hes going to do. You allow him to pick out all of your clothes even though you don't like the things he picks. You stop hanging out with your friends and you stop doing all the things you love to do and you focus on his favorite things. So basically you went from a long haired college student who dresses kinda funky and likes to go skating to a short haired college drop out who shops at the Gap who retired her skates and bugs her boyfriend because she has no life of her own anymore.

And now.....

He comes to you and says, "Its not you its me." And you see him with another chic who looks like you use to look. So you ask him what the hell is this all about? And he tells you, "I like a woman who enjoys being herself. One who wants to please me but not at all cost. It's okay to tell me you don't like something or you want to be alone for the evening. He tells you, you became less of a challenge and more of a leech."

It hurts hughh???

So whats up with us being willing to loose our identity to be with someone? How about you keep your identity and fall in love with the person who loves you for you.

The reality of seeing him with someone else might be just what you need. Cause if you don't learn your lesson on this one it just might go too far on the next one. At least in my example it was easy to bounce back: buy a wig, take your skates out of the closet, register for classes since you only missed one semester and go shopping to heal from the heart break and to get your wardrobe back.

But unfortunately it sometimes goes too far. You've been his wife for ten years and he up and leaves you for the woman you use to be. Well you have no clue where your skates are or even how to skate, you don't remember half of the stuff you learned from school to continue on without a hellofa refresh course. You haven't shopped for your style in so long that you're actually trained to know what he likes so you automatically buy those things and you've gotten so use to the short hair that you actually like it.

This woman in the last example is the majority. Don't get me wrong she has, can and will bounce back, it just hurts like hell when you think of those ten long years you spent being someone else and he has the audacity to leave You for "You."

My thing is ladies, just be yourself. If he likes you he likes you if he doesn't he doesn't, oh the hell well...NEXT!!!!


Love,

Demetrius

What Becomes of the Impatient Person?

Being impatient is one of the devil's low blows. He hits you with it and before you know it you've lived half of your life with this horrible thing ruining your progress and your success. Being impatient can hit you on every level: relationship, career, financial, and etc.

So what exactly becomes of the impatient person?

Well they can most definitely miss out on all the blessings and good things that are in store for them.

"The Man" One of the major impatient factors women deal with. Not only is it your impatience that can get in the way on this one but I'm sure your parent's and your friend's impatience doesn't help much either. You've told yourself that you're going to focus on God and when the right person comes along and you have a GREAT feeling about him then you'll give it a try. Okay now that six months have gone by and you haven't met one guy who even passes your "Don't use drugs not even socially test" or your "I'm celibate until marriage test" you decide to go back to dating whomever cause you cant wait anymore. And you say to hell with your test because even with simple test as the ones I named you could miss out on your husband. Or you just go on random blind dates to please your mother or prove to your father that your not gay since you're over thirty and still single. (Cracking up laughing at my self) My point here is, if God told you to wait then who cares how long it is and who cares what other people have to say. I know I know easier said than done. Reevaluate what you're waiting for anyway. Sometimes its not even just about the art of learning how to be patient, it might be about what you're going to learn and how you're going to grow in the time frame of this patience.

"Finances" Another big one. Partly the reason behind half of America loosing their houses. Getting into homes they couldn't afford because they were too impatient to wait for when the time was right to buy a house or maybe it was about buying a house at a certain price. You wanted the $300,000 one instead of the $200,000 one so they worked some figures and pulled some strings and got you into that balloon mortgage that you couldn't afford and couldn't refinance. Well if you would have gotten the house you could afford or waited it out a little while longer until you were able to save up enough emergency money then perhaps you would have been able to pay the mortgage for those tough six months you went through.
Lets not even get into shopping and running up that credit card from Nordstrom, Macy's, and Saks... Just cant wait till you can pay for it after payday hughh???? :--)

"The Career" is a good one too. You hate your job so you jump right into another one or you flat out quit cause you know you'll find another one. Your new job decides to downsize and since you're the last one hired...you know the rest. Well I'm completely guilty of this one, yes I'm the quitter LOL. Perhaps you should have made plans and set goals, worked hard towards them and when you reached them then quit or took a leave for two or three weeks (if feasible) to test it out before you up and quit.

I could go on and on about the decisions we make from being impatient; especially since I recently learned that was my main problem, but we all know better. We feel it in our gut when were making a wrong choice. We even back it up with that whole "Oh well" I'm taking a chance.

So where do you go from here since you've made all those mistakes up above and then some more?

Its really a simple thing, meditate with God and make plans for the things you want in life. Write down the responsible and sensible steps it would take to get there, and do what you can and pray to God for what you cant. Most importantly remember we can make plans but God has the final say so...

Love,

Demetrius

Things that make you go hmmmmm...

Do you ever wonder what God was thinking when he created sex?
The very thing that is intended for reproduction is the very thing that is quite satisfying.
Was the satisfying part created to be an incentive?
Would man kind still reproduce with out "the feeling" of satisfaction?
Everything that God does is purposeful. Wisdom was there when God created the heavens and the earth (Proverbs 3:19-20)

So this thing called sex which is meant for reproduction but feels so satisfying that man kind says forget reproduction but lets do this for complacent reasons was created by God with wisdom?

I think one of my questions would be why does it have to feel so good? Many attempt to take the celibacy pathway and many fail--All because it feels so good.

If sex didn't feel good, wouldn't we have less problems today?

Well no doubt, God is the great I Am, so this sex thing which was created with wisdom feels good because its suppose to. God doesn't make mistakes. So us humans who cant stop having sex because it "feels so good" have got to get it together. Its just another way that the devil comes in and turns one of God's greatest invented things into a disaster. The devil kills us with our own weapons.

This thing called sex which is good, feels good, and good results come from it was created to be utilized by a married couple. All things good come from sex when you've met the "license" requirements. (Well are suppose to at least)
But of course we like to drive unlicensed, license suspended, too young to even see over the steering wheel and we're talking about driving in the fast lane. That's when the devil has his fun. STD's; abortions; men not claiming their kids; women abandoning their kids; kids abandoning their kids; and etc.


So to answer the question as to what God was thinking when He made sex feel good...
I believe He was thinking they will have free will. If they choose My will then it will be good if they don't then, of course you know the rest...

Does it really feel that good???????

Love,

Demetrius

Lovers & Friends

So I'm listening to the lyrics of Usher's "Lovers and Friends" and I've seen clips of Steve Harvey saying it's impossible for men and women to be "just friends" and it made me ponder......

I think I'm in agreement with Steve Harvey on this one. Maybe if you're friends that don't hang out all that much or if you do hang out then there's always other friends around than okay, I can see it staying in the safe zone but if it's just you and that friend rolling solo to the movies, shopping, chit chatting on the phone, and spending the night together then somethings bound to pop off.

Below is a partial piece of Lil John's part in "Lovers and Friends":

"I's been knowing you fo' a long time,
But (beep) never crossed my mind,
But tonight I seen sumthin' in ya,
That made me wanna get wit 'cha,
You ain't been nuttin' but a friend to me,
And a (beep) never ever dreamed to be,
Up in here, kissin', huggin', squeezin', touchin'

I honestly believe that is how it goes. You either start off with a hidden agenda from jump or you come into it completely innocent and get blind sided by a passionate kiss during one of your movie nights.

This is not a bad thing at all. The mere fact that you both were good friends could be a hella of start to a lasting relationship. I mean think about it; you know each other's faults, you know the things either of you would never tell to a potential partner, and etc. etc. Bottom line is, you know all about each other, so why not?

Some might say, well wouldn't that ruin the friendship, I mean what would happen if the relationship doesn't last?

I say this, either or, the friendship is ruined if you're spending a lot of time together because feelings are going to develop naturally. You either A don't act on your feelings of passion and drive yourself nuts fantasizing about this person and trying to keep from pouncing on him/her when you are together which leads to built in stress and conflict or B you get together and live happily ever after or get together and realize its not for you. If you're mature and strong enough you can go back to being friends. But either way you look at it Option B is much smarter and fun than option A.

Sorry everyone but I'm sold on the fact that men and women can't be "just friends"

Love,

Demetrius

The Perfect Woman

"Too hot will get you no where but alone and perhaps used"

"Too cold will get you no where but alone"



Two totally different types of women, with two different paths yet the same ending ALONE



So what is a perfect woman exactly? Perhaps its best to play the middle....

Love,

Demetrius